We get a lot of sales calls here at the shop. I appreciate that these people have a job to do, but tattoo shops are not like most businesses. What other businesses need, tattoo shops really don't. So when someone calls and the first thing they do is ask for the owner or manager, they're most likely trying to sell us something. We save them the time and oxygen by ending the call as quickly as possible. We're also saving the boss the aggravation of having to listen to their spiel and then say 'no thanks'. I like my bosses best when they're not aggravated.
So one afternoon I pick up the phone and hear an older woman ask, "Can I speak to a manager?" That's usually a dead giveaway that it's a sales call, so I come back with, "There's no one in at this time."
She took an exasperated breath and asked, "When will someone be in?"
"Monday," I replied, which wasn't a lie.
"So there's no one there right now who's a manager," she said, not asking a question, but stating it flatly, like a cop who was trying to trick me into screwing up my story. I beagn to suspect that there might be some sort of a problem, but I didn't want to come out and ask. If there's a problem with a tattoo, we want to help, but we always hope that is not the case. So, I tried to see if I could warm things up with a little humor in case this was not a sales call but an aggraveted customer. "Well," I began, with a hint of a chuckle in my voice, "we're big boys and girls, we take care of ourselves."
I heard nothing but silence on the other end. I waited a few beats and was just asbout to ask if she was still there when she said, "So there won't be a manager until Monday."
"No," I answered, and wondered why the hell she just wouldn't tell me what she wanted.
"Well, that's strange, because, you know, usually there's someone around who's a manager," she said, sounding weary and annoyed.
I was annoyed myself at this point. I believe in being polite to people until they start acting stupid. "Well, ma'am, this is a tattoo shop. Things run a little differently here. It's not like fast food."
She sighed and told me she'd call back Monday and hung up abruptly. Fifteen minutes later she called back and asked for our address. I assumed that some aging, irate woman was going to come down and read us the riot act for tattooing her kid/grandkid/husband, but we never got such a visit. If she just wanted to know where we were, I don't know why she needed to hear it from a manager. Even the dumbest lackey in any establishment can tell a caller the address of the place. Like I said before, tattoo shops are not like most businesses. There is no night manager or crew chief or corporate office. Whoever picks up the phone most likely will have the answer to your question, you won't be told to press 1 and you won't be transferred to another extension or be told you have to call corporate after the weekend. When you're asked if we can help you, we mean it, because we can, even if our name isn't on the lease.
