An upside to the gentrification of the tattoo industry is that a lot of people who wouldn't have gotten tattoos 20 years ago are now getting them. Say what you want about people jumping on trends or being followers, whatever. They pay my bills and I have made a good living doing what I do. And with the influx of the new blood (pun intended), the old blood has to one-up them and get bigger, more visible (and more expensive) work. My income goes up and I no longer get barred from the door at fancy restaurants because they no longer think I'm a crack-smoking biker freak. My work gets better and better and my customers are happier and happier, it's a win almost all the way around.
A downside to this gentrification is that a lot of people are coming into the shop who wouldn't have come into the shop 20 years ago. Not to get tattoos, but to gawk and to ask absurd questions. I understand people are curious. I like that people who don't know what goes on in there come in to find out, instead of making scary assumptions about us. I have worked in some dumpy, seedy shops under a canopy of cigarette smoke, behind a closed door and blacked-out windows with burglar bars on them. I'm proud of the shop where I work today. It's open, clean and bright, splendidly appointed and decorated. We're right out in the open, people can come and look and ask and get involved. A comfortable, reassured potential customer is exactly what I want.
What irks me is that tattooing hasn't been a freak show in quite some time, but people still treat it as if it is. They come to gawk and laugh and point and make crude, rude remarks. They have no idea how to behave in a shop because they've never been in one. I understand that this is all news to them and they probably behave thusly everywhere they go. I picture these people in a Chinese buffet; "Oh, my God! Did you see there's octopus in here? Can you believe these people eat OCTOPUS? What a bunch of freaks!" Meanwhile, the little old Chinese guy who immigrated from a village hellhole thirty years ago and built this business from the ground up weeps into his Oolong. But I digress.
People are now coming in, either alone, or with someone getting a tattoo. They come in with a look on their faces like a child who just saw either Santa Claus or Satan, their eyes rolling all around trying to take in everything they see. Being nice like we are now, as we do because we're cool like that, we ask them if they need help and the reply is always, "I'm just looking" or, "I'm with him/her/them," and they point to their companion.
And here's where it gets shitty. Refer back to what I said before, I like people to come in and see what we do and check the place out. Ask questions, look around, make yourselves at home. And by make yourselves at home, I mean it's my home and don't be an asshole in my home, please. In what I can assume is an attempt at making polite chit-chat, they start off like, "Wow, you have some really great artwork here....I could never get a tattoo, though."
I strain my eye muscles by rolling my orbs hard enough to see the inside of my skull because I know where this is going. Whether I ask why or not, and I usually will so I don't look like a total dick, they answer "Oh, I just...you know, it's not...I could never do it, I mean, I like them, but, you know, it's not....I just, like..." and they start making faces as if they have simultaneously bitten into a lemon and gotten bitten on the ass by a horsefly. "Well, it's like, I mean, it looks good on YOU, I'm just saying..."
Yes, I know exactly what you're saying. You have come into the tattoo shop and you're telling the tattoo artist that you're too good for a tattoo and tattoos are for lesser animals and you would never stoop so low. I get it. And you know what? Good. I don't want everyone to have tattoos. Too many of the wrong people have tattoos. I'm lumped in with all kinds of hipster dorks and prissy little bitches and douchebags because we have tattoos in common, and I hate that. I don't want everyone to think I'm cool. I respect peoples' right to think I'm a scumbag and to think what I do is gross and to not want to get tattooed, ever. But as my Mom used to say, "Just because you're thinking it, doesn't mean you have to say it." Sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to become a blogger, I thought it would be fun just one time. So, to wander into our place, where it's what we do, it's what we give and what we get and to go off on some stumblefuck rant about how awful you think it is....well, I gotta ask you one question. What the hell are you doing in here?
If it's so bad and so awful and you could never do it and the though of it makes you squash up your face like a pug dog, then get the fuck out. Seriously. Go. Goodbye. Take your silly, squeamish self down to church and pray for my tortured soul if you want to feel useful. You walked in here on your own volition, not because we have something that you need or even want, but just because. And then you're gonna go on to me about how it's not for you and you don't want it and you could never and it's not for you. And there I am sitting there, like that little old Chinese man, watching you mock what feeds my family. Not that my feelings are hurt, mind you, they're not. I know you're a total nincompoop and you probably have incredible disrespect for everyone you come across, so I don't take it personally. But what I do wonder, is why you feel compelled to walk into a place populated with people who look like this and like this and like this,* and you have no bones about saying how utterly stupid you think they all are. Makes me wonder who the crazy one is, me or you.
So come on in, Have a look around. Ask questions. However, remember, you're in my house. And if you don't like what I do in my house, stay the hell out. There are plenty of places for people like you to kick around and kill time. Show some respect. A lot of us worked long and hard just to make a living, much less become really good at what we do, take care of our customers and to be a part of the communities in which we work. I don't expect everyone to like what I do, again, I'm glad they don't. But the 'Open' sign on the door is not an invitation to wander in and act like an asshole.
*With apologies to Gill Montie, Pat Fish and Mister Cartoon. I'm a big fan of all three of you and I'd be over to moon to meet any one of you. I'm also sure you're all really nice people. However, I'm pretty sure I would be wise to be very polite and steer way clear of your respective bad sides.
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