Now, I'm going to talk about a sensitive subject here....male genital piercings. All you guys who are now turning green, feel free to go back to YouPorn to see male genitals in more comfy surroundings.
All right, now that the rest of us adults are still here, I'll continue. I pierce, as you know, and being a scavenger, I will pierce anything, with an exception--the guiche. And if you can't look at that and imagine WHY on earth I wouldn't want to do that, then there is something very wrong with your mind. I get calls all the time asking me if I'll do the guiche, and I politely say no. And then they ask why. And I say that I just prefer not to. And they ask why not. And I say I'd rather not pierce such an area. And then they ask what's wrong with it. And I begin to feel like I'm talking to a two-year old. Isn't "Because" a satisfactory answer for anyone anymore? And then I usually end up blurting out something to the effect of "because I'm not interested in spelunking anyone's nasty taint today!" and slamming the phone back on the cradle.
But, the subject of male genital piercing is one of endless fascination for most. People ask if I "Pierce, you know...down there...on guys...on their..." Oh, for God's sake, grow up. If you can't even say it, I sure shouldn't be taking to you about it. But the answer is a sound, "Yes. Yes I do." And people go crazy over that. "Ohhhh, my God! Doesn't that bother you?" And the answer to that is a sound, "No, not particularly." And I'll tell you why. Becuase it's a body part that all men have, we all learned about it in health class in school and there's no point in being a baby about it. It's part of my job. After doing it umpteen times, I could care less about any of it, it doesn't shock me, disgust me, rile me, or offend me. It's my job, I get paid to do it. In fact, I get paid more to do those piercings than any other piercings. And as there's not too many places in town that even want to deal with it, I get a pretty good amount of business that way. It takes me less than five minutes to do the piercings, and I get paid what most burger-flippers get for sweating over a grill for four hours, so, it makes perfect sense to me.
Now, there are several kinds of piercings you can get, the Prince Albert being the most common, mostly because that's the one that everyone seems to have heard of. It's purely decorative. I don't see the point in it, because you're damned to a life to peeing sitting down, for the most part, for something that serves no function. I can't see how putting a hula hoop on the tip of your dick would please a woman, but, hey, whatever.
People always ask me, "Do they have to be hard when you do it?" Well, there is so much to say about that. For one, no, it's not necessary. Two, think about it. Unless you are the sickest, most extreme masochist, you CANNOT stay hard while a total stranger in rubber gloves unpleasantly manhandles your junk, stabs a needle through the head, fishes a metal hoop in after that, and then grabs a wad of paper towels to stop the copious bleeding from your urethra. If you haven't passed out from that process, you're already a hero, maintaining a throbbing erection besides would just make you an ultra-freak. And three, I really don't want to have to a.) jerk someone off or b.) have him jerk himself off to get "fluffed" for the occasion. I don't know if I would be flattered or frightened if a dude got it up in my presence under such circumstances.
One time, though, a guy came in who clearly was not all there and possibly inebriated, and he did just that, whipped it out and started stroking while my back was turned. I finished setting up all my acoutrements and turned around, gloves on, and immediately yelled, "What the hell are you doing?" He looked at me stupidly and said, "Gettin' it ready for ya." I snapped back at him, "Well, fucking stop, it's ready!" Mercifully he let go and it shrank down so small, I practically had to reach into his abdominal cavity to get it back out so I could pierce him. Yeesh. No wonder so few shops will perform such services.
There are other piercings which are less horrible; frenum, for example. More functional, less painful, less bloody. Whatever floats people's boats, I say. I couldn't see doing that, but if that's what they want, if it maked them ahppy or their girlfriend or boyfriend or masters or slaves happy, well, then, I'm making the world a brighter place, one stranger's penis at a time. In fact, I've earned the unfortunate moniker of "Cockmaster" among my co-workers. I just joke that they're all jealous that I get to play with all the wee-wees and they don't. But I draw the line at taints, and I stand firmly behind that line. I don't get paid nearly enough for that. Now, if we're talking about proctologist kind of money, I might be persuaded....after all everyone has a price!
